So here we are in the 21st century. Everything is competitive, measured on a materialistic scale. Life is more ‘lived’ and ‘enjoyed’ virtually on social media than actually in the real world. It has become all the more important that we do not make our children puppets of this trend. We teach them the value of self-worth and independence. One way to achieve that is by teaching them the importance of self-study and how it can shape their lives.
The success of a person depends upon the number of likes they get on Instagram and Facebook than how many genuine smiles they get in a day by real people.
Alas! The price for the technical advancements we are paying is way too much. Much more than we can see and realise.
In this rat race of pulling people down to push yourself up, we have reduced ourselves to mere puppets or rather apes.
Why or how? You may wonder.
It’s a matter of concern how we as parents are pushing our kids into this ruthless judgmental world making them a robot of kinds.
Expectations
The problem is that every parent today wants their child
- To be the topper in the class!
- Best in sports!
- A great musician!
- Sing like a nightingale!
- A voracious reader!
- Excel in Computers!
- Make a robot of his own in Robotics!
- An artist good enough to compete with Michelangelo!
- An excellent orator!
and MORE!
Phewww!! Too many expectations.
Every parent desires that the kid should be unique and one of a kind. But the very desire is pushing them to do what everyone else is doing.
Believe me, every child can acquire a few of the qualities mentioned above if not all.
But let me ask you one simple question!
Are you giving enough time to your child to blossom on his own?
Or
Are you rushing the process and doing it for him instead?
The problem is that the kids are not given the responsibilities; Responsibility of their own life, their choices, their decisions.
We are jumping in and doing everything for them.
I do not remember that our parents were ever hovering over our heads. We had our thought process and made our own decisions, at least as far as academics went.
Of course, our parents checked on us at EVERY instance on disciplinary issues or unethical choices.
Our parents were there with nail and hammer to carve a beautiful character, good habits and values out of us.
But these days if you look around, the scene is the reverse of what it was. Discipline is rarely followed and behaviour issues ignored.
The list is endless of where we as parents are going wrong.
I will talk about one issue which I strongly feel about and that is encouraging the child to self-study.
Make Your Child Self-reliant
The situation is quite ironic!
In the times of ‘Selfies’, where you don’t want to depend upon anyone even to take a decent photograph of yours.
You want to make your child dependent on you or the tutor for his curriculum!
These days I see almost none of the students studying on their own!
It’s appalling to see a first grader go for ‘tuitions’! The child comes back from school almost in the evening and immediately rush for his ‘class’.
Most of the children go to these classes to do their homework.
There is a reason why it’s called ‘HOMEWORK’. Something which a child should do on his own, it is a practice and a revision of what he has learnt in school!
The child goes for tuitions where the tutor ‘helps’ the child do his homework.
As parents, we are failing to inculcate responsibility in our children. We do not tell our children to be attentive in the class and make sure that they understand the concepts.
Even if it means going up to the teacher to ask for help. Believe me, no teacher ever turns down a student with any number of difficulties.
Our kids are aware that there’s always a backup of tuition, so they pay no attention in the class.
Early years are important
In the child’s formative years, if we fail to teach them the importance of self-study then how can we expect them to mature and responsible adults?
When a child ‘learns to learn on his own’, it helps them shape their future and character to a large extent.
It teaches them self-realisation. They become aware of their shortcomings and strong traits. They learn to manage their time well and minimise stress.
As your child discovers himself in the process, will save you from spending a bomb on a ‘Career Counsellor’.
Our children need a nourishing environment to discover themselves.
If we waste this precious time running from one class to another and burden them over their capacity.
We will result in a confused, perplexed, immature and a depressed child.
Do not worry about his grades in the early years but concentrate on developing a habit of self-reliance in studies. The grades will be good if a child understands the concepts well.
Guidance is GOOD
As I talk about self-study, I am not saying don’t take guidance or help. Use the guidance but in special cases.
Your child needs tuition when
- The parents are uneducated and cannot help AT ALL.
- During studies for higher classes, in some specialized subjects.
- While preparing for a specific course.
If the reasons mentioned above do not apply to your child then do not send him for tuitions simply because he has to “do something”.
Allow him some free time to be a child and do nothing. Let him do nothing and discover himself.
How the habit of Self-study can transform your child’s learning abilities and performance
- A self-studier develops an in-depth understanding of the concepts. As the child is engaged and wants to explore deeper into it.
- Improves their sense of self-worth, as there is no competition with other children.
- The habit of self-study reduces issues like anxiety, stress etc as the child is learning without outside pressure.
- It gives the child a sense of control over their learning and understanding. They are more in conjunction with what they need to expand their language in the said area or topic.
How to empower your child for Self-Learning
- Be around but do not hover on their heads.
- Supply the learning resources and materials that your child requires.
- Ensure you have created the ideal environment for a successful self-study session.
Click here to read our blog on how to create the perfect study area for your child.
Conclusion
- Instead of driving your child around to various classes, spend that time teaching them how self-study builds character.
- Take the time out to show them the path of self-reliance, discipline, moral values and principles of life.
- Do not pressurize them over their exam marks and results.
- Encourage them to prepare well and work hard.
- Teach them to be emotionally strong.
A happy child can conquer the world.
As famously said by Ann Landers
“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do themselves, that will make them successful human beings.”
If we teach our children ‘to learn’ on their own then we will open doors for them to real education in every area of life.
It’s never too late to start!