I was sitting in a coffee shop when this song played. It is one of my favourite songs! Why? Because it reminds me of my mother. She would sing this song for me every night before bed. She did it every night without fail till the time I turned 11 years of age. We all have such memories of our childhood that connects us to our parents. These memories lay the foundation of a strong parent-child bond.
This song brings sweet memories in my heart and mind.
Why do you think is the case?
It’s the memories I have attached to the song makes it special for me. The connect and love I got from my mother. Her sweet voice and warm hugs every time she sang it for me.
Today’s moments are tomorrow’s special memories.
When we spend good time together, we create good moments.
This works like feeding in good data in the memory bank.
Our memory plays a significant role in how we behave and act.
Things that disconnect a child with his parent
Very often parents complain that their children do not listen to them….especially older children like pre-teens and teenagers.
From children, we hear complaints like, I want to study this subject but my parents don’t let me. They don’t understand how much I enjoy learning about this subject.
In the above-mentioned cases, the child and parent do not have a memory bank of good moments.
These type of conversations are mostly an indicator of lack of trust between the parent and child.
But the good news is – You can turn the lack of trust into a strong parent-child bond.
As a parent, you can do certain activities to establish this trust relationship.
7 Ways to Build a Strong Parent-Child Bond
Make sure that as parents we spend at least an hour doing one of these activities.
1. Take time out to cook together as a family
I have a little niece. One time I asked her what is her favourite thing to do. She told me, ‘I love it when Papa comes in the kitchen and we make eggs and toast’. She looks forward to the weekend when her papa is home so that they can make eggs and toast together.
There’s nothing fancy about half-fried eggs and a toast. But it’s the moment when her papa is dedicating his time and listening to her makes it her favourite thing to do.
You can just imagine how self-assured and confident a child can grow up to be when they are given that kind of love and attention as children.
Now, cooking with children in their early years not only helps their emotional growth but improves their cognitive skills. It is a hands-on way to teach basic Maths and Science.
Here are some easy recipes you can try with your child.
2. Playing board games with children is an excellent bonding exercise
Who doesn’t remember playing Ludo with their siblings and family!
The memory of someone winning game after game and others wondering if they are cheating.
Ah! Those cute fights and sulking faces and someone cut their ‘Goti’. I have vivid memories of playing those family games.
Courtesy new-age apps where you can play board games online with strangers. Nothing beats the fun of playing a real board game with people sitting in front.
Plan a game night or game hour when you get your family’s favourite board game out. Binge on those yummy snacks and have the time of your life.
Here are some of the board games that not only ensure that you have a mad fun time with everyone but also increase your mental aptitude.
Chess, Uno, Mechanics, Snakes and Ladders etc.
Stay tuned for a blog on board games you and your child must play.
3. As parents encourage that children help you in household work
Honestly, adults or children, no one enjoys housework and no one wants to do it.
But doing housework is an effective way to teach children responsibility and respect for other people’s work. It makes them independent and self-sufficient.
So, next time you are done making your favourite dish with your child in the kitchen. Extend it into a cleaning activity after.
Don’t be afraid to give them a broom and clean.
The work won’t be perfect but it would make for a sweet memory for life.
Or make a ‘Let’s dust your room every Sunday’ and we can have ice cream later as a reward.
That’s what you call killing two birds with one stone. The room is clean and you got to spend some positive time with your child.
4. Spending time outdoors will help connect well with your child
It could be your house lawn or colony park. Take them for a walk. Let them explore the flowers and leaves (Tell them it is okay to touch them gently but not pluck the flowers and leaves).
Let them play in the dirt. Clothes may get dirty but the bond you form with your child – the knowledge he is gaining from this experience. The love your child will feel just knowing that you are there for them – is all worth it.
5. Take your child for vegetable/fruits shopping
All parents know that it is not easy to take a child grocery shopping.
It is tiring and expensive (the endless and unnecessary items that end up in your cart because the little person next to you thinks he NEEDS all of that).
With some patience and smart moves, you can make this a happy and positive experience for you and your child.
- Make a list and stick to it. Talk to your child before going to the supermarket that we need to buy things that we need.
- Give your child the choice to buy any one thing he/ she likes.
That way both child and parent are happy and content.
Going food shopping with children develops a healthy mental attitude towards eating and increases their vocabulary.
Seeing and smelling so many colours and smells together is a feast for their senses as well.
If you are feeling extra enthusiastic then plan a whacky trip to the market. Where your child can pick anything they want – while staying in a budget (You can give them any amount in your comfort level).
6. Eat your meals together as a family
Your meal times together as a family can be a space of true connect. Amongst each other, you can share your wins and disappointments and get perspective on it.
As a parent of 13+ years, I can tell you one thing for sure. Every time I discussed something with my family and children. I have come out with solutions that I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. Such is the power of talking to family and getting their views and possible solutions to any given situation.
Imagine the rich bond you are creating with your child by eating one meal a day together.
Besides the fact that eating meals together is bringing you closer to your family. Households that eat together end up eating more fruits and vegetables as opposed to the ones who eat separately. This is proven in research done by Harvard University.
7. Families that sing and dance together build a strong bond
Okay, so my 13-year-old comes home one day and tells me about an incident at school. They were preparing for their school annual event and after the practice, one of the children played this song called ‘Bala’ from one of the Hindi movies. It was catchy and everyone danced on it.
Now a true confession, I do not like ‘Mass-y’ songs. I find them silly.
So, I was like good for them.
Both the children were getting ready for bed after their bath and all. My son decided to play the song and share how fun it was.
As the song played my son started dancing with his bath towel on his head and the younger child followed. Seeing them both I couldn’t stop myself too. I joined the crazy dance with some of my moves as well.
And just like that, we ended up having an impromptu dance party. It was so silly and goofy. We had so much fun. I made a recording of that dance on my phone.
Now, every time we watch that video it makes us smile and reminds us of the silly time.
The reason why I shared this story is to say that sometimes we do not need to plan stuff. Some of our best memories are attached to moments we didn’t plan at all.
Another benefit of singing and dancing for your children is that it helps them understand their body movements and express emotions.
Conclusion
Whatever you end up doing with your children. Planned activities or unplanned ruckus (remember children have the most fun in these).
Make sure you include your children in the thought and the process. As opposed to someone who is participating in them. Let them be in control of some activities.
It will teach them to decision making, planning, critical thinking, reasoning etc.
Spending time doing the activities mentioned above, will help your child bond with you. It will make the child trust you and to be able to share their thoughts comfortably. Likewise for you.
Ultimately, our goal is to see our children happy so why not do it in a way that resonates with them?
These 7 activities are some of the things you can do as a family. If there’s anything that you have been doing to strengthen the bond between you and your children then do share with us in the comment section below.